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LOVOPHOBIA
Am scared of and to love
It dreads me severely like a Nollywood movie ghost longing for my soul in the dark
Am afraid of the four lettered word
Because it turns me into a breathing skeleton
It lays bare the true me and makes me vulnerable
It breaks down my armor and strips me naked turning me into nothing but prey to spears, arrows and bullets of heartbreak
Love turns me into a fool
Constantly making me fantasize about that one person I can’t stay seconds without thinking of
It makes me smile unconsciously
It makes people think am few steps closer to being crazy
Cos with her on the phone I unknowingly start kicking stones, plucking hibiscus flowers and roaming around like a helpless child on the busy streets of Calabar
It makes me feel weak
Because I accept my flaws and mistakes choosing peace instead of pride
It never lets me sleep when I make her cry
It beats me and wakes my dead conscience to the consciousness that I did wrong
Love breaks down my walls of omnipotence
It makes me humble and cuts down my wings of tyranny
Love demands that two become one and I hate to agree with that because I’m too selfish and self minded to create space for another
It makes me realize that I’m supposed to serve, for only through service will true leadership be seen
It makes me see that I am no boss but a co-worker
Love makes me carry the burden of others on my head like Gala
It compels me to think, speak and act for two
But on second thoughts,
It makes sense
Because I have a shoulder to lean onto
I have a living servicom to lay my complains and problems
It makes me know I have a life support when I get broken or paralyzed
It makes me know that the world revolves around the orbit of kindness
For I was created out of it and I will die living it
But I’m still scared
My fear hovers around like an army of flies caressing a new wound
_iamscripted
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