GRACE ABUSE

GRACE ABUSE

The most common and most treacherous kind of abuse ain't sex,child or drug

It's Grace

And i am a Number1 convict of this crime

And if i were to be punished

Even hell as an eternal life sentence won't commensurate with my deeds

I need no more breath

Co's right now life and death ain't different

I feel like broken bottle

As the ghost of my actions pierce my fragile feet with shattered fragments of my past deeds.

My hearts been daily religiously raped by sin

And am left pregnant with nothing but condemnation

I wish my skin were pain proof

Wish i could resist these stray bullets of guilt that shoot right through my heart every time i think of him on the cross,

Calvary

As he carefully crawled with my cross to calvary on his glorious whip stripped back

As the scorching sun steadfastly shone on the bare bent back of my king all for me

I feel like a bleeding bone

Guilt rains on me every time i approach church doors

Like drums i roll out at the sound of altar calla but even altar calls can't alter or erase these shades of sin sketched on my paper heart

Pastor says am saved but beneath those words are tons of whispers of past and even future sins that invade the gates of my salvation

I wish i could sing the songs of redemption like Marley

But what use is this song when am still locked up in Egypt even when i see the tarred road to Canaan

I feel like a walking statue

Lost in a desert of sinfulness

Praying God's grace GPS finds me before his wrath does

I feel like a living grave,a breathing corpse

Like Messi i try to retire from sin but the Ronaldo in me has been loving this game right before i stepped into fields of iniquity

The cheering crowd of my dead conscience tell me am too skillful

I trample on his grace like rag but yet he calls me in and cleans up my mess like a mother does to a child

It sees me wrenched from far but like the prodigal father,it still has a wide room of accommodation for me

I've asked for my share too many times and i never make good use of it when it's given

And so LORD JESUS

Just this once again i pray

Let the disinfectant of your mercy dettol this sin infected heart of mine

Right now am a sight too sore to see

But let the ocean of your grace wrap and drown me so deep that the sharks of sin gain no more space to sink their teeth into my soil skin